Inerasable Memories
by Smex Lemur
Summary: Ed confesses, Roy turns down. Hurt, he leaves Central to fight in the war. Two years later, he returns and meets him again, but things are not the same anymore. People change and so do feelings. RoyEd COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

**AN**: My first FMA-fanfic! –bounces-

I'll try to keep everybody as much as IC as possible, but, as my summary states, people can change a lot in a couple of years, so it might turn out slightly OOC, my apologies if it does turn out like that :3

**Title:** Inerasable Memories (title was stolen from the themes xD)

**Rating: **M, for sexual content and an angsty Ed o.o

**Pairings:** RoyEd, AlWinry

**Summary:** Ed confesses his love for Roy, but ends up getting turned down. Angry and disappointed, he leaves Central to fight in the on-going war. Two years later, he returns and meets him again, but things are not the same anymore. People change and so do feelings.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own the characters, only the storyline.

* * *

**Prologue**

Blood. Pain. He wasn't sure if his eyes were closed or not, but frankly, he didn't mind the darkness. Shouts. Screams. He shut them out of his mind, desperately trying to escape the world from everything. People moving. Crawling. He couldn't move, didn't want to move even. Was he going to die? He didn't care at that point. He just wanted the pain to stop, he just wanted to survive.

He remembered everything, from the moment he stepped on that train, leaving everything behind him in a moment of what people would call impulsiveness. He had offered to go to Drachma, to fight in the War that was taking place there. He couldn't stand to be a second longer in Central City. It had been a long journey, nearly taking three weeks to reach his destination.

He remembered being escorted to General Bell, a fellow State Alchemist, who had assigned him a battalion of around one hundred men, despite the fact that he had no experience with war whatsoever. He had been dispatched, along with his troop, on the southern side of the prosperous city of Zhiang(1). They had been ordered to infiltrate the city, take it and kill everybody who opposed. It had been hard on him, the first couple of weeks, but war taught him that he had to kill in order to survive himself. In order to see everybody he loved again, in order to pick up his old life again. He wasn't proud of it, but his childish thoughts about not killing people were gone and only his survival instincts remained. Not that he had been a ruthless killer; on the contrary, he spared people's lives as much as he could, but it couldn't be helped sometimes.

The people of Zhiang were strong and brave and, needless to say, opposed the Amestris' Army as any other city would've done. Many men died in the months they were trying to capture the city and finally General Bell sent reinforcements, allowing to complete their mission finally. It had been a great relief and he was allowed to take one week to recover from the sleepless nights and troubled days. Of course, he didn't gain an ounce of sleep even in that week, pictures of dying men troubling him in his dreams- nightmares- and images kept replaying themselves in his mind.

The horrors of war would haunt him the rest of his life, he knew that from the first day it had started.

He remembered using his alchemic talents to the fullest; creating weapons, repairing tanks and everything else he could do. He led his troops to victory after victory, earning a famous name and even getting the title of 'hero'. He resented the name and would make sure anyone who called him that would regret it. There was nothing heroic about his actions, he was doing what anyone else would do; fight a war, make sure to survive and yearning to go home. In between he would make sure his troops would make it as well, though he had learned that he couldn't save every single one of them. It had been a hard lesson, thinking back on the many friends he had made and losing them the day right after meeting them.

Two years thus passed by in a blur of blood, agony and hurt. He knew he would never be the same again and regretted ever stepping on that train two years earlier, but nothing could be done about it at that time. The Army had apparently found him too valuable for them to lose such a wonderful soldier and wouldn't resign him, not even when he requested to go home to at least see his little brother. They threatened to strap him down and to accuse him of treason- he would be executed if they would do that and so would all of his men, for reasons still unknown to him.

He would never forgive the army.

He focused back on the present- what had happened in the past mattered not when one was lying in the middle of a battlefield, wounded and worthless. For he was as worthless as a gun with no bullets. He was bleeding somewhere, he felt the red, warm liquid on his leg as he moved his legs in experiment; he hadn't been able to move for a while, but it seemed as though he had control over his limbs again. His automail-arm was broken so using alchemy was useless for him now.

He stood up slowly, hissing in pain as the weight on his legs was apparently still too much for them to handle. He ignored it- getting out of the hell hole he was in was now his first priority. He only had one thought in mind: _Get back to Central, go back to Al, back to everyone… I have to go back. _It had been the only thing that kept him going. To see his little brother again, to see the ones he loved.

"Major Elric!" a voice sounded in the distance. The man looked up, his blonde bangs covering his eyes slightly as his weary face focused on one of his men who was rushing to his side. "Major Elric, hold on!" The man caught him before he could fall to the ground- he had passed out from loss of blood, stress and anxiety. He could faintly hear a deep voice calling out to him.

"Edward!"

* * *

**AN:** So, whaddaya think? Is it original? O.o Is it any good? XD Or do you simply hate it? Either way, I'd like to know, so I know if I should continue with this :3 Please review!

(1) Is Zhiang a real name? O.o I have no idea, I just thought of it really. Anyway, I'll just keep it this way, even if it really is a real name x.x


	2. Homecoming

**AN: **First chapter! Enjoy it :3

* * *

**Chapter 1: Homecoming**

The sound of the train abruptly stopped when it halted in the station of Central. Many people exited immediately; people to visit relatives, go to their work, people who were on vacation. Most seemed to be unconcerned about the world around them and just walked on hurriedly, mingling with the crowd on the station and simply disappearing from Edward's sight. The blonde boy exited the train, sighing as he ran a metallic hand through his hair as he looked for a familiar face.

It had been five weeks since his failed mission. He had been wounded gravely- almost died from the loss of too much blood even, but he had pulled through. When he woke up in one of the bigger tents standing in the middle of a thick forest for cover (the tent functioned as a small hospital- most wounded soldiers were taken there and were cared for), he saw General Bell hovering over him, an expression of annoyance and disappointment gracing his old face.

Bell hadn't been the worst of men, especially not towards Edward. He was strict and could kill people without batting an eye, but he was always very kind towards the infamous Full Metal Alchemist, sometimes even treating him as a father would. It pained Edward to see that look in his face and he knew immediately that he had failed his mission- Bell had filled him in with all the blank spaces, for Edward could hardly remember anything that day.

The mission had been a tough one, though not an impossible one and definitely not an assignment that could be failed easily. However, Ed had been careless and hadn't thought everything through- he had been known for his impulsiveness and that was both his weak and strong point. He had cursed himself mentally for being so reckless.

The mission was to infiltrate a hidden underground base where some rebels were hiding. Apparently, they had been leading every soldier in the city Jhing(1) and if they would've been taken down, chances were that taking the city would be like taking candy from a baby. Edward hadn't counted on a trap, a setup and that was one advantage the rebels of Jhing wouldn't pass up.

They attacked them immediately; soldiers were hiding in the pile of rocks that were once houses and attacked as soon as they were into the city far enough- they surrounded Edward's troops and forced them to all get together. Edward's troops fought them off rather nicely, despite their huge disadvantage and managed to kill off most of the people there. It was, though Edward was reluctant to admit it, mostly because of their Major's alchemic skills and as soon as a bullet had hit the young Alchemist in the leg, things started to look even worse for them, without the protection Edward could offer them with his walls and weapons; it really did look like a hopeless case.

From that point on, Edward didn't remember anything, but the General had explained it further. Apparently, reinforcements had been sent because one soldier had been able to escape the slaughter and managed to inform the General just in time. If it hadn't been for that man, Edward would've been a goner.

When the Full Metal Alchemist had woken up, he had been told that he could go home, provided that he would return back when they needed him. Of course, they always needed extra men, but Edward was worthless, due to the injuries. The young man wasn't complaining; even though it might've been for a short while, he was still going to see his brother, Winry, all of the friends he had made. The long and harsh journey was definitely worth it.

"Niisan!" A voice sounded; Edward immediately recognised it as the voice of his younger brother, who launched at him in a blur of yellow. The older Elric let out a hiss in pain at the assault of his still wounded body, but wrapped his arms around his brother nonetheless. It wasn't everyday that he would get to see his little brother after years of being away. He could see Winry walking slowly towards them, a genuine smile gracing her pretty face as she waited patiently for Alphonse to withdraw himself from the hug.

Edward was surprised at the way they both still looked the same, with the exception of a few minor things. Alphonse had grown much taller in those few years, he was – though Edward was reluctant to admit it – almost one head taller than the older brother was. His hair was still a slightly darker shade of blonde than Edward's was and was still long, tied up neatly in a ponytail. He had grown some muscle in the two years and Edward was proud to see his little brother in such a happy and strong state.

Winry had grown as well, apparently both inside and outside. She had grown a few inches, Edward noted and her face was more mature, more feminine. In fact, she was even wearing a light pink dress, which suited her features quite well; she seemed to be more calm than a couple of years ago, when she would run around excitedly looking at all the machinery and wanting to dissemble it. She now didn't seem to be the type to throw wrenches at them either… Perhaps Al's good nature had rubbed off on her.

"I missed you so much!" Al continued. Edward could see a hint of tears in his eyes and gave him a small smile. Al grinned back at him happily, before finally detaching himself from Edward's waist. Winry was next in line and threw her arms carefully around his neck, obviously noticing he was still in pain. The alchemist happily returned the hug and felt that it was wonderful to be there; the city, where no one was dying. Where there was not the smell of blood in the air, not the screams of pain, but only him, his brother and Winry. Just them and _peace_.

At least, he tried to tell himself that.

In his mind there were still pictures flashing through, his heart was weary and his body felt like it was made out of lead. Though he felt more at ease being in Central, he still had an anxious feeling in his heart that, someday, he had to return to that horrible battlefield.

Winry and Alphonse had noticed the blank look on his face, the stare, the look as if he was in a world far away- it made them worry, to say the least. They knew that he wouldn't be the same cheerful, obnoxious, arrogant and loud Edward they had known for years, but it was still hard to face the truth what a war could do to a person. Alphonse had sometimes seen the dark face Roy Mustang made whenever he had flashbacks of the war in Ishbal, but never had he thought of seeing that same weary look on his own brother's face.

He could only hope that everything would turn out for all of them.

"Come on," Winry said, letting go of her childhood friend hand grabbing his hand carefully. Edward felt comforted by the small gesture and was surprised when his eighteen year old brother grabbed his automail hand, grinning down at him happily. Edward smiled back, finally feeling human again…

Finally feeling _home_.

Not two minutes later, they found themselves standing outside of the station and Edward felt as if he had landed in a whole different world. There was no rubble, no empty streets, no threat, no bodies… He took his chances to look around; people were smiling, no guns, not one weapon. Edward found it hard to believe still, that he was finally back. It was hard to walk around with caution and fear for your life for two years and then coming home so suddenly where everything was at peace.

"Edo(2)," Winry said, squeezing Edward's hand softly so that his attention was focused on her. He turned to look at her and gave her a soft smile, still wondering if this was all a dream. "What would you like to have for dinner tonight? We could go out and eat, just the three of us," she paused, looking at him hesitantly. "Or you could go with Alu(3) alone, if you'd rather have that. I could also cook for us all."

"I think I'd like to have a home-cooked meal tonight, Win," Edward said, smiling. Winry and Alphonse breathed a sigh of relief at the response; he hadn't had said a word since he had arrived and they had been starting to get worried. They couldn't imagine the things he had seen, didn't want to, but they had agreed on taking Edward's mind off of things as much as they could possibly do. They knew that they could never make him forget, but they could try nonetheless; they_ would _try.

"Good, Winry's cooking is the best!" Alphonse said enthusiastically, earning another smile from his brother, even though it wasn't the smile he was used to. This one was empty, void of emotion-- forced, it seemed. It made Alphonse's heart sink to see his brother in such a state and he knew not what he could do about it. All he could do was support him and he would do that, no matter what his brother did or no matter what Edward was like- he still remained his brother and he would love him, even if Alphonse felt like they had grown distant from each other.

They continued their walk, Edward remained silent during the entire time. Perhaps it was because he was concentrating, taking in everything he saw, savouring the moment of him walking down the street with both of his hands clasped in those of Alphonse and Winry, chatting cheerfully about their old friends, who was dating who and who was dying to see him again.

Their evening was spent in each other's presence. Winry had cooked them dinner-- Edward had found it quite delicious and was wondering if she could cook for him every evening – and they spent talking, not ever mentioning the war. Edward occasionally asked how Riza was doing, or Jean, or Ross and Alphonse was happy to see that his brother had interest in them, even though he noticed that Edward slightly forced himself to ask such questions, as if he were afraid that they would notice that he had been gone to fight in a war for two years. He also noticed that he had not asked about Roy Mustang once.

"Niisan," the younger Elric said, standing up and clearing his throat. Edward looked up at him and blinked once, wondering why Alphonse looked so serious and why he took Winry's hand.

Alphonse figured it was time for at least some good news and he had been waiting the entire evening before he had finally gained the courage to tell Edward about him and Winry. After all, it was a happy occasion to be together again, just the three of them, after all those years. The blonde girl blushed slightly and covered it with a grin in Edward's direction, squeezing Alphonse's hand slightly as he looked at the older Elric with a smile on his face.

"You know that Winry and I have been together for some time now, three years to be exact and," a hesitant pause. Edward already knew where this was heading and he couldn't help but feel a flutter in his stomach—he was feeling truly happy, for the first time in so long. Alphonse continued, "And we've decided that we are going to marry," he finished. Edward smiled, a true smile this time and stood up himself, hugging his brother and his soon-to-be wife.

"Congratulations!" he said and Alphonse recognised a hint of his usual loud voice—he couldn't help but grin at his brother and pulled him into a gentle hug, this time being careful for his brother's wounds.

"I'm so glad to have you back here, Niisan," he murmured. He felt Edward smile into his shoulder.

"Me too Alu, me too."

* * *

_An odd feeling in his stomach rose when he saw him, coal-black eyes looking right back at him. His hair seemed as if it was ruffled, though it was the way it usually looked, and he wore the blue uniform every 'dog of the military' wore. He couldn't remember ever seeing him wearing something else. _

"_Mustang," he whispered, reaching out his hand. The man turned around, away from him and didn't spare him a second glance. He walked away, too fast for the younger man to catch up to him. "Mustang!" he yelled again. The word didn't reach the other person. He ran, desperately, after him, but no matter how fast he went, he couldn't catch up to him. "Roy!" _

_Somehow, the man—Roy – did hear him and turned around, now smiling slightly at the man who called out to him. He then started to walk again and disappeared into the distance. _

"…_Roy… Roy!" But he didn't listen. _

* * *

"Roy!"

He bolted up, sitting straight and cold sweat dripping off his forehead. _A dream… _He blinked and wiped the sweat off, still panting slightly from the dream. _At least it's better than dreaming about Drachma_, he thought bitterly, snorting at the thought that, even after two years, Edward still couldn't stop thinking about him.

Even after two years, he still wasn't over it.

He shrugged the thought off and threw the thin blanket off of his body. He knew he couldn't sleep anymore anyway—glancing at the clock, he saw it was almost time for breakfast anyway. He decided he would make some for Winry and Alphonse, while he was at it. There were certain things that a war couldn't change, and that was Edward Elric's appetite.

An hour later, he had everything ready (it took him a long time before he could finally find everything he needed) and he was ready to give Alphonse and Winry their wake-up call, before the phone started to ring. Edward briefly wondered who it was that was calling so early in the morning, before picking it up.

"Edward Elric," he said, a little weary from the lack of sleep still. They had gotten in bed very late in the evening, despite Edward's protests, and waking up early after that definitely wasn't good for him.

"Edward!" a female voice sounded through the horn, pleasantly surprised. Edward immediately recognised the voice, even though it usually was stoic and strict.

"Hawkeye," he replied, a friendly tone in his voice. Even though he sometimes was a little frightened of her, he liked her—she had always treated him as if she was a mother to him and Edward had needed that sometimes.

"Just the man I needed to speak to," she said, surprise and happiness out of her voice immediately. He smiled, she had let her stoic mask go for a moment, but it was immediately back again. "General Mustang(4) would like to speak to you."

_Oh shit._

* * *

**AN:** Dun dun dun duuuuuuuuun o.o… I'm not used to writing angst. Am I doing a good job? XD Any pointers? O.o…

(1)Another city I just made up

(2)I like their nicknames :3 I love the way they pronounce it in the anime, sounds like a cute nickname, right? XD

(3)Same as 2 :3

(4) I figured I'd give the guy a raise :3 Roy-boy deserves it!


	3. Mustang

**AN: **Chapter 2! I'd like to thank all of my reviewers :3!

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**Chapter 2: Mustang**

"_Colonel Mustang," he said. He was fumbling nervously with the cloth of the red cloak he always were, eyes cast down to the floor. Mustang was smirking at him, he could tell even though he couldn't see it. Roy always smirked at him. _

"_What is it, Fullmetal?" Edward flinched—he didn't like the fact the Colonel kept insisting on using that horrible nickname. Sure, it had sound cool enough when he first received the title and people who he just met calling him that, obviously impressed by the name, were fun to watch, but Edward and Roy had known each other for years now. Edward understood he needed to call Mustang 'Colonel' but he just couldn't understand why Mustang couldn't at least call him 'Elric'. He shrugged and focused back on the man sitting behind his desk, watching him intently… those onyx eyes staring at him, as if they could see through anything… Edward loved those eyes. _

"_I-I want to tell you something, Mustang," Edward said nervously, a blush spreading across his cheeks as Roy's face grew a bit more serious. _

"_Does it have something to do with those Homunculus you were chasing?" Ed shook his head._

"_No… it's something personal." Roy smirked again. Damn him._

"_Ah, having girl-problems? I'm not surprised, considering your height—it must be trouble finding a girl—"_

"_WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET THAT CAN'T GET A GIRL BECAUSE HE'S TOO SHORT TO EVEN SEE HER FACE!" Edward took a deep breath, letting his anger slip away and again trying to focus on what he wanted to tell him… it was just so damn hard. "Anyway, you could say I'm having girl-troubles." _

"_Is it that girl from Risembool—Winry?" Edward scrunched his nose. _

_  
"Ew, no! I don't go for people who want to dissemble my arm whenever they have a change to." Roy let out a deep chuckle. "I-I love someone." _

"_But…?"_

"_But, I don't think that person will love me back, because that person can probably get anyone they want and probably wouldn't like… someone like me." Roy folded his hands on his desk. _

"_Well, whoever it is, you should just tell her. You never know unless you try."_

"_Why, Colonel, I didn't know you could give such good advice." Sarcasm was dripping on each and every word and Roy snorted slightly. "But, I'll take that advice. I don't have much to lose anyway," The Colonel raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "The person I love is you, Mustang." He then let out a laugh. "Oh my God, I can't believe I told you that, I mean, Al already told me I shouldn't tell you, but I didn't listen!" he laughed some more, slapping his forehead with his flesh-hand. "I now know how stupid that sounded! Damn, just forget about this, Colonel—" he was about to walk out the door when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. _

_  
Apparently, while Edward was laughing at his own idiocy, Mustang had gotten up, though he was slightly in shock at the confession. Sure, girls confessed to him all the time—sometimes even men confessed to him! But he had never expected Edward Elric, the loudest and stubborn person he had ever met to tell him that he loved him. Edward turned around, laughter gone and an unfocused glaze in his eyes, as if he didn't want to be there anymore. _

"_Full—Edward," Roy started, for this one occasion using Edward's true name. "I care for you and your brother—" he was stopped by his subordinate, who had slapped his arm away from his shoulder._

"_Don't Roy, I know what you're going to say. 'Just not in that way', right?" Roy said nothing and just watched him. "I know it was stupid," he snorted bitterly. _

"_You can't help it if you love someone, Edward," Roy told him, almost whispered the words. Edward just glared at him. _

"_Just—I have to go," he shook his head, his braided hair swaying softly as he turned away from him sharply, opening the door and slamming it shut again. Roy stared at the closed door, his hand still reaching out for something—someone._

"_Edo…"_

* * *

He walked through the white, almost hospital-like halls with a heavy heart. The Colo—No, the General wanted to see him. He was going to face him again, after two years of running away, after two years of only dreaming of him. Edward shook his head. He didn't feel anything for him anymore, he was just nervous because…

Well, he couldn't find any other reason why to be nervous.

No, that wasn't entirely true. Perhaps he was nervous, because he was ashamed for leaving so abruptly. After he had confessed to Roy and had been rejected, he immediately packed his bags, said goodbye to his brother and boarded the next train on a whim. He later regret that decision, of course. He knew the Colonel had cared for him and for Alphonse as well, but still… he couldn't bare to see that stupid smirk of him a second longer.

He knocked on the door that had a little plate saying 'General Mustang' on it. He heard a muffled 'come in' and opened it, his heart pounding in his throat as he did so. He wanted to run away from him—hell, he'd rather be in the goddamn _war _than to face Roy.

Even though he had passed it, even though he had accepted the fact that Roy did not love him back, he still couldn't stop himself from thinking about the man. And now that he faced him—Roy, sitting behind his desk in a brand new office—he could hardly believe it was real.

Roy looked exactly the same as when he had left—his black hair tussled, short, his eyes the same shade of black as his hair, giving him a slightly foreign look. He wore the regular uniform everyone in the army wore and a black eye patch still covered his left eye. He wasn't able to see with that eye anymore, not after the battle with Pride years ago.

Edward swallowed once, eyes focusing on the floor and fists clenched by his side, as he had done two years ago.

"Fullmetal," Roy acknowledged, his deep, silky voice cutting through the air. Edward had missed that voice though it somehow was different. No emotions, no malice, no smirk, not a hint of sarcasm. It hurt Edward somehow, to hear his voice like that—was it his fault? He shrugged; no, he hadn't done anything wrong. Roy didn't love him, Roy had rejected him, Roy was not his problem. "Sit." He gestured to the gray leather couch standing in the middle of the office and Edward complied, walking stiffly over to the couch, his heart still pounding loudly. "Because you're not in Drachma, the Fürhrer has assigned you to do my paperwork starting tomorrow. I expect you in my office everyday at nine in the morning," he gestured towards the small desk standing on the opposite side of the room and continued, "Any questions?" Edward looked away from the Roy's eyes.

_So cold…_

"No, General Mustang," Edward replied, his voice equally cold. For a moment, he thought he could see Roy flinch at the coldness of his voice, but it soon vanished with the blank stare he was receiving.

"Dismissed then." Edward nodded and stood up and even _saluted_ the damn General, something he hardly ever did. He received another small wince and turned around, leaving him once more. He never noticed the sad look the other man gave him as he walked out that door.

* * *

"That damn bastard," he grumbled as he stomped into the apartment of his brother. "Can't believe he actually summoned me for _that_! He's mocking me, I know it." He took a glass of water and sat down on the fluffy, bright yellow couch (Alphonse liked yellow, he couldn't help it), slowly drinking it, as his wounds still hurt.

Roy… the bastard had never acted with such coldness towards Edward, as if they had never met before, as if Roy hated him… _Maybe he does hate me. _The alchemist shook his head—he had no reason to be mad at him. It wasn't like Edward had been mad at him either! He knew he couldn't change anyone's feelings and that Roy just didn't love him the way Edward wanted him to, wasn't his fault. And yet the bastard just treated Edward as a lowly subordinate, a bit of dirt on the sleeve of his jacket.

He heard the door open and saw Alphonse standing in the doorway, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "Niisan, you're back early," he stated, walking over to his brother and sitting down next to him. Edward just nodded in response, not feeling like talking about… The Bastard. He vaguely noted that he hadn't thought about Drachma for the past few hours, but dismissed it quickly. "Well, what did he want?" Edward waved his metallic hand.

"Nothing important. I think he said ten words to me and dismissed me," Alphonse looked at him slightly worried, but Edward just laughed. "Don't worry! I'm over him. Hell, who needs that bastard?" Edward laughed his fakest laugh, but he didn't seem to convince his younger brother.

"Niisan… you know you can tell me," he said softly. Edward sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair.

"I know Alu," he replied softly. "I just… he didn't even _ask _how I was doing, he was just so cold to me."

"Well, you both are very stubborn people," Alphonse replied.

"You're not helping Alu," Edward muttered dryly. His younger brother chuckled lightly.

"What I mean is, have _you _tried being friendly with him? I mean, it must be hard, but think about his feelings too. He was _worried_ about you for two years—" Edward snorted at this. "—He was! In the first year, he'd call every week to ask if we had heard from you. The second year, he called us every single _day_. He always thought about you Niisan."

"He did?" Edward asked. Alphonse nodded. "I don't know what to think anymore Alu—I mean, what _normal _Colonel would call someone's younger brother everyday to make sure his subordinate his safe? I mean, if he cares so much about me, why can't he…"

"I think he does," Alphonse said wisely. "He just… doesn't know it. Or maybe he didn't know it at the time and does now. Whatever it is, he_ does_ care about you."

"Well, I don't see anything wrong with what I did. He has no right to be upset with me," Edward replied. Alphonse sighed.

"I think you'd react the same way Niisan." Edward blinked once and a small smile appeared on his face. Alphonse was right about that. "I have to prepare dinner. Want to help?" The older Elric nodded in response and followed his younger brother to the kitchen.

He dismissed every thought of the General for the rest of the evening.

* * *

_There was blood everywhere, there were bodies everywhere. He looked around and tried to find his own men, tried to gather them and get the hell out of there. "Major Elric!" a voice sounded from not five feet away from him. He ran towards the sound and saw two soldiers standing around a pile of rubble. It wasn't until he stood directly in front of the pile, that he saw one of his men lying underneath the rocks, his body crushed. _

"_Anthony!" _

_  
"Sir, the rebels are closing in on us, we don't have time!" Edward was stopped from transmuting the huge amount of rocks when his arm was halted by one of his men. _

"_If you let go of me now, I can transmute this in seconds!" Edward hissed back at him. _

"_Sir, with all due respect, if we take him with us, the chances of us retreating successfully are below one percent. He'll slow us down, his bones are crushed, he can't—"_

"_We can't just leave him here! He's still alive!" _

"_But sir—"_

"_Ne, Chibi," Anthony suddenly spoke up, his voice weak though loud enough for all of them to hear it. "Just leave me here, pipsqueak, I can't walk anyway. A shorty like you couldn't even outrun an ant." Edward fumed, but, considering the position Anthony was in, he didn't want to lash out at him. The sound of a gun firing was nearby and all of them looked up. "You really gonna risk all of the others' lives for me?"_

"_Ant—"_

"_Just go, _now_!" Edward gave him one last look, before he heard a tank heading their way. _

"_Let's move people!" Edward yelled, leading his men away and leaving the friend he had made. His best friend. He shot one last look at him—the last image of Anthony was another rock falling right on top of his head, crushing it. _

_He was dead. _


	4. Confronting

_**AN: **Holy Pikachu-on-a-stick, I've got me some reviews! O.O! THANKS! XD _

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**Chapter 3: Confronting**

"Ah!" He woke up, yelling and kicking around frantically. When he finally realised that he had been dreaming again, he calmed down slightly, still panting from the nightmare. He vaguely noticed that he had tears in his eyes and wiped them away, cursing himself for crying over a nightmare. He knew it couldn't be helped, crying in one's dreams, but he still hated it. He hated being weak.

It had been a week since he started to work for the General. Even though Edward had tried to make amends and apologise for running away, the words couldn't come out. Seeing that cold glare of Roy somehow made him nervous, scared and also angry. He gave up trying to apologise after two days, figuring the bastard wasn't even worth it.

They hardly said anything to each other and, if it had been up to them, they wouldn't say anything at all. The occasional 'yes, sir', 'good day, sir', 'yes, Fullmetal' and 'no, Fullmetal' were necessary, but they didn't do it willingly. Havoc, Fury and all the others did seem to be happy that Edward had returned and had welcomed him with open arms—apparently, Havoc had gotten himself a boyfriend, much to the surprise of everybody else (especially Edward, whose jaw dropped to the floor when he heard. It was actually quite funny for Havoc to see, so he told him who it was. Edward nearly lost his consciousness when he heard it was Russel.), Fury had gotten himself a wife and even Riza had a boyfriend—a man named Eric, who apparently trained new recruits.

Edward was happy that almost everything was back to normal again (with the exception of his horrid nightmares, his flashbacks and Roy) and was glad to know that everything had worked out for all of them. Everybody had a loved one, everybody was happy.

Three days after his arrival, Riza had invited him to go drink something. He thought it was very uncharacteristic of Riza to think about anything other than work, but he complied, figuring it would be a nice distraction. He was surprised, to say the least, when she told him during the drink she had actually invited him over to talk about Mustang.

"You know, I was worried when you left, Fullmetal," she had told him, taking a sip of her beer.

"At least call me Ed outside the office," Edward told her, smiling slightly. She gave a brief smile in return.

"You call me Riza then," Edward nodded. "The reason why I was worried was because the General didn't seem himself," she continued. Edward raised an eyebrow. "He was depressed and still is actually. Even more," she sighed and rubbed her temples. "I honestly don't know what to do with him anymore. It's like worrying about a child. Did something happen between you two before you left?" Edward briefly thought about telling her their conversation, how he had told him he loved him, but shook his head. He couldn't tell Riza.

"No. But… how do you know he was depressed? He didn't smirk twenty-four hours a day?"

"No, it's much worse. He hasn't been on a single date in two years." Again, Edward's jaw dropped.

"_What!_" Riza nodded her head gravely.

"I thought it was weird the first week. I actually didn't have to shoot him every day—I thought it was just some sort of phase, but it stayed like that. And he became quieter, did his paperwork. I began shooting him because I was annoyed at how… he behaved himself(1)." Edward sweatdropped. "I don't believe you when you say there hadn't been anything between you. You don't speak to each other, the General doesn't even comment on your _height_. I'd like you to tell me what happened, Ed. And if you won't tell me out of your own free will, I'll make it an order." Edward winced and vaguely noted that Riza was speaking more than she had spoken to him in the five years he had served as a State Alchemist.

"It's kind of a private thing," Edward replied, taking a sip of his coke. He really didn't want to tell her. She immediately grabbed out her gun and held it to Edward's head, who looked at her nervously.

"Tell," she growled.

"F-fine," he stuttered. "But get that thing away from me!" She complied and withdrew her gun, focusing back on her drink. Edward started speaking. "I... asked him if he could get me a date!" he exclaimed. Well… it wasn't exactly _lying_—it did have to do something with dating, he supposed. He felt guilty for lying to her like that though, but she'd get over it eventually.

Riza raised an eyebrow sceptically. "Really? That's it?" Edward nodded, almost a bit too hastily, but Riza let it go. "Well, I have a friend whose about your hei—I mean age, she might want to—"

"No, that's okay Riza!" The young Alchemist said. "I mean, I just got back and I'd like to spend some time with Aru(2) and Winry." Riza nodded in understanding. "Well, they're probably waiting for me to get home anyway, so I'd better be off. Thanks for the drink Riza," he said, smiling at her.

"Bye Ed."

She decided that whatever was going on between her General and Edward, she was going to find out. Honestly, what idiot would believe that 'date-story'? She grinned at herself—whatever it was, she knew Alphonse knew about it. She could make him crack.

She was just cool like that.(3)

* * *

That was that for the weird meeting with Riza. Edward had been somewhat glad about it, that she told him Roy had not dated one girl since he had left—it gave him a feeling of hope, though it was somehow small.

And, honestly, he wasn't sure if he wanted to have Roy now.

Sure, he loved him. He loved him a lot. But Roy hadn't talked to him, Roy was known to be the greatest womanizer of the army (who says he wouldn't do that to Edward himself?), Roy hadn't even written him a single letter and hadn't done anything at all to contact him. Yeah, sure, he had called Alphonse, but he hadn't called _him_, and neither had he written him.

Edward shrugged—part of him also knew that he wasn't being reasonable himself. That part was the more mature part of Edward, the part that was rational and calm. Unfortunately, that part rarely came out. He knew he had left Roy without a warning, hadn't called himself or hadn't even written to him, but, then again, why should he? It wasn't as if he was involved with Roy or anything, it wasn't as if Edward owed him an explanation.

If anybody should explain himself for his behaviour, it was Roy.

At least, that's what the immature part thought about it all.

Edward shrugged and looked at the time; he was already late for work. He had barely slept, because Alphonse and Winry had been a bit… loud. While they were… Edward smacked himself on the forehead—he did _not_ want to think about what Winry and his _little _brother were doing last night! No way. Edward just wished those walls had been soundproof…

"Sorry I'm late," he panted when he had stormed into the office. He had been expecting some sort of sarcastic remark from Roy, while he was smirking. Something along the lines of 'Ah, Fullmetal, glad you could find time in your busy schedule to go to work. Or did the guards think you were a ten year old again?', but there was nothing. Not one remark. Just a small, cold 'good morning Fullmetal' and that was it.

Edward decided he couldn't take it anymore. The rational part of his mind took over and he decided to shove away his pride and take Alphonse's advice.

"How long do you think we could keep this up?" Edward asked. It earned him at least a look from Roy, no matter how cold it was.

"Keep what up, Fullmetal?" he asked gruffly. Edward threw his hands in the air and rolled his eyes as if to say 'you know what I mean, bastard!'. Roy took the hint and put down his pen.

"Just… I think we need to talk," Edward finally said. Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Really now? And why should we? I thought we handled everything two years ago." Edward scowled at him.

"Stop with the cold act," he snapped at him. "You think I'm happy with what I did? Of course not! But it's not like you've been a saint either."

"Oh? What have _I _done to upset _you_. If I can recall, you barged out of my door and I never saw you again. I had to hear from Fury that you were going to Drachma. _You _didn't even bother to tell me about that, while you know for a fact that I—"

"That you what? That you 'care' for me? Don't give me that crap Mustang," Roy remained silent. "I was upset when I left, okay? I _know _I made a mistake, I don't need to answer to you about it! Two years of fighting for my life have taught me that I should've never left like that, but that doesn't mean that you have to treat me like some stranger when I walked through that door a week ago, damn it. I mean, you didn't even ask me how I was doing." Edward noticed that his voice had dropped as he thought back again about the war.

How he thought he was never going to see Roy again.

How he regretted leaving him like that.

Every moment where he had nearly died, Edward couldn't stop himself from thinking about Roy's face—he had missed him so much. And then this had been his welcome. It wasn't as if Edward had expected Roy to open his arms and give him a hug, but he at least hoped that Roy was civil to him.

Roy's eyes softened a bit at the defeated tone of his voice and he motioned for Edward to sit on the gray leather couch. Edward sighed and sat down, putting his elbows on his knees and his head on the palm of his hands. He had a headache, was tired and really wished he had never started this conversation. Things were so much easier in denial…

He was surprised when Roy sat next to him, rather closely. Edward raised his head and stared up at him, blinking. Roy sighed and looked away from him, away from that golden gaze.

"You know why I was mad at you?" he asked him. Edward didn't say anything and instead waited for him to continue. He did. "It was because you left me."

"But—"

"Quiet Fullmetal," Roy interrupted him. "I know… that I said I didn't love you like that. However," he took a deep breath. "_You_ didn't give me any time to think about it either." Edward stopped breathing. Was he implying…? "What the hell was I supposed to say? I mean, one day I'm straight as a pencil, the next day you come in, tell me that you love me and don't give me any time to even _think _about it."

"Does that—"

"Don't interrupt me Fullmetal," Roy said, gaining an annoyed scowl from Edward. "I thought about it for the rest of the day, you know. I got shot at by Riza twenty times," he let out a deep chuckle and Edward couldn't help but smile. "It wasn't the first time a guy confessed to me, but I never gave it much thought with those times. With you, it was different… I realised that. Besides, you kind of look like a girl any—"

"Finish that sentence and die, Mustang," Edward growled angrily. Roy smirked at him.

"Ah, still sensitive about your looks, I see." Though Edward looked like he could kill the bastard, he was actually glad—the smirk was back. The sarcasm was back. "Do you… still love me?" Roy asked, hesitantly. Edward's cheeks turned slightly red and he nodded. No use in denying it anyway. Roy's smirk came back again. "You want to go on a date tonight then? I'd like to try, if you're willing." Edward looked at him, a calculating look on his face, before he smiled softly and nodded.

Inner-Edward was jumping up and down in victory.

* * *

(1) I like Riza, I think she's awesome! X3 One of the few female anime-characters I really like, together with Rukia from Bleach and some others. I just can't see her with Roy though… I mean, she acts more like a mother to him xD.

(2) See? I DO take the advice of my readers! XD Honestly though, I read a couple of fanfics where his name was spelled out 'Alu', and a couple with 'Aru'. I didn't know which one to choose, so I decided to go for 'Alu', because the other one sounds like something a parrot would say T.T Maa, guess it can't be helped XD.

(3) She is! And is it me, or is this not turning out angsty? O.o Told you I was bad at writing angst T.T I'm more of a humour-type xD


	5. The Date

**AN: **Eek, mucho reviews x3 I'm glad people find my fic enjoyable! I hope you also enjoy the fourth chapter X3

* * *

**Chapter 4: The Date**

It was an understatement if you would say that Edward Elric, child prodigy, famous Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the People, was nervous for a simple date. He cursed himself for being such a schoolgirl as he went through his wardrobe, only to find a black pair of jeans and a red shirt. He also wore, of course, his red coat as he didn't like to flaunt his auto-mail arm too much.

He was scared. He wasn't afraid to admit it either, I mean, the guy was going on a date with a man who he had loved for three years. Edward wasn't used to being social, he had never been on a date and the only kiss he had ever shared was with Winry when he was _seven_. So it was natural to be nervous.

"Niisan, you'll do fine! If he wants to go out with you, that's only a good sign," Alphonse encouraged him. Edward swallowed and nodded, trying to grin at him.

He had actually been nervous the entire time—after Roy had asked him out, the rest of the day had been spent in an uncomfortable silence. Apparently, Edward wasn't the only one who was scared, even though he knew Roy would never admit or show it. Edward found it another good sign actually—Roy was always so reassured whenever he went out with a girl, because he knew there wasn't a girl out there who would ever reject him (with the exception of maybe Riza, but… well, she was a big exception).

They had also agreed to keep things a secret. If the military would find out, they would most likely be fired and, while Edward didn't find it the most terrible thing in the world, Roy did. He still wanted to become Fuhrer, but being in a relationship with someone who was a man, a subordinate and over a decade younger wasn't good for his carrier. Edward had asked him if he really wanted to take the risk and Roy had just nodded and smiled—another sign for Edward that everything would be alright.

Of course, it was still nerve-wracking. What if he would screw up? What if Mustang decided he didn't like him after all?

Edward shrugged—he'd try his best. And he wouldn't get his hopes up either, he had decided that the moment he went to confess two years ago. If Roy didn't like him, then so be it.

There was a knock on the door and Alphonse squealed in excitement. Edward groaned—who was going on this date anyway? Alphonse turned to him, a strict look on his face.

"Okay Niisan; be home before twelve p.m. and yes, I do expect you to get home tonight," Alphonse wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Edward wondered vaguely when he had turned in such a pervert. Probably because of that damn Winry—he knew it all along. Any girl who is obsessed with _oil _had to be a pervert. "Don't get drunk, don't lose your temper, don't start any fights—"

"Aru," Edward growled. "I'm the older brother here, I can take care of myself perfectly!" Alphonse smiled at him.

"I know Niisan, but I worry about you!" Edward gave him a small smile, before he went to open the door. He gawked at the sight before him—he had never seen Roy in regular clothes before and he was even more sexier than the sexy bastard he usually was. Dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans, a black button-up shirt (Edward noted that the top three buttons were unbuttoned), he looked simply… well… fuckable.

Roy gave him a brief smirk, before reaching his hand out to the backside of Edward's head. Edward was still dazed—one very small part of his mind wondered what Roy was going to do with his hand and the other bigger part wondered how soft Roy's bed was. It wasn't until he felt a soft tug on his hair that he blinked and looked at the small band that normally held Edward's braid together. Roy was holding it and smirked slightly.

"You look better with your hair down," he explained. Edward blushed lightly, mumbling something along the lines of 'bastard', before he closed the door and followed Roy to his car.

Ten minutes later, the car pulled over (Roy and Edward were in the backseat, Roy actually had a driver) and they stepped out in front of a restaurant. Edward didn't exactly know _what _to do and he felt like a complete girl on this date, but he just let it go—after all, Roy was an expert when it came to the art of dating. It was just a very big hit on his pride when Roy actually held the door to the restaurant open for him.

They ate, talked and argued for two hours and Edward noticed that he was having a wonderful time, completely forgetting about his earlier nervousness. They mainly talked about work, but also about Alphonse, their colleagues and occasionally their pasts. Roy hadn't once asked him about the war and Edward didn't really want him to either—it was too painful to even think about it.

Edward had noticed that over the past few days, he had started to ban all thoughts of the war out of his head. At night though, he had a lot of dreams about it, haunting him. Like his mind didn't want him to forget about it, he started having flashbacks—they were triggered quite easily too. Whenever Alphonse would look at him in a certain way, or whenever someone passed him by who looked similar to one of his comrades, or sometimes even looking at houses would make him remember. He usually immediately discarded these though, not wanting to remember, but somehow they always made it back.

It felt as if… all the people who had died because of him over the passed few years didn't want him to forget.

"Edward, are you alright?" The soft voice of Roy spoke suddenly, snapping Edward from his thoughts. Roy had begun calling him 'Edward', but only out of the office (they didn't want to raise any suspicion) and the older Elric was happy—when they were teasing each other though, they would often switch back to 'Fullmetal', 'Mustang', 'Chibi' or 'Stupid Pony' (Roy resented the last one). Edward blinked once, before grinning.

"Yeah, just spacing out I guess." Roy nodded, the usual smirk not gracing his face this time.

"Are you done eating?" he questioned.

"Done? Aren't we having dessert?" Roy groaned.

"Fine Edward, but next time, you're the one whose paying." Edward grinned happily, noticing the fact that Roy had said 'next time'. "Anyway, who knew that such a little guy has such a huge appetite." He pointed at the four empty plates and smirked lightly, but it faltered at the expression on Edward's face.

* * *

"_Hey, are you Major Elric?" Edward looked up to see a man of maybe twenty-five staring at him. His blue eyes were fixed on the older Elric's golden ones and his blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail. He resembled Alphonse slightly, though this man's eyes held a certain mischief in them—Alphonse never had that. Edward nodded. "Yeah, they told me you were short, so I noticed you right away."_

"_WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT YOU COULDN'T EVEN SEE HIM IF YOU LOOKED THROUGH A MAGNIFYING GLASS!" _

"_Whoa, calm down Chibi. You're really sensitive about your height, aren't ya?" Edward snorted and crossed his arms, calming down slightly. This guy… he reminded him of someone. Someone who irritated him to no end as well…_

"_I'm not sensitive and my height is fine!" The man shrugged._

_  
"Anyway, I'm Anthony Zachs. I was assigned to your squadron." He held out his hand and Edward took it, still glaring at him. "That glare only makes you look cute, you know," he pointed out, flicking the bit of hair that was always stubbornly sticking out. _

"_Damnit, I'm not cute!" Anthony grinned. _

"_Wanna go for lunch? I'm starving. Haven't eaten anything since… well, since an hour ago, but I'm already starving." Edward blinked. People usually were nice to him, but this guy acted as if they had known each other for years. Shrugging, he followed Anthony to the tent that was supposed to serve as the cafeteria, while he was chatting about his hometown cheerfully and how he wanted to go back already, even though he had only arrived one day ago. _

_  
After fifteen minutes, Anthony stared at how Edward was consuming his fifth plate. _

"_Damn. Who knew such a little guy like you has such a huge appetite." _

* * *

"Edward, what's wrong?" Edward blinked, once again snapping out of one of his many flashbacks.

"Oh. It was nothing, just remembering something," he said casually.

"The war?" Damn him. "I know it's hard to talk about. Trust me, I've… seen and done some horrible things in Ishbal as well."

"No, this time it was one of my happier memories. As far as they go, at least," Edward replied. He didn't really want to think about it—the bodies scattered across the city, the blood, the screams… he didn't want to even remember. He did want to remember Anthony though. "A friend of mine said the exact same thing—that I have such a big appetite. Come to think of it, he actually looked a lot like you too," Edward said, thinking about it. "He was so annoying," he then declared. "Called me 'cute' when I glared, called me girly too. Damn bastard." Roy smirked.

"This Anthony, I like him already. I should meet him sometime." Edward's face grew darker. _Crap. _Roy cursed himself mentally.

"He's dead."

"I'm sorry Edward," he said. "You… want to talk about it?" Edward shook his head.

"To make a long story short—I led him on a mission, we failed, he died. It was basically my fault." Roy sighed—it was just like him to take up the blame for something he had no control over. Sure, he might have led his battalion, but that doesn't mean that they can't take care of their lives themselves.

"Edward, you can't save every—"

"I know that," Edward snapped. "I was responsible for each and everyone's life, especially when I led them on a mission that I didn't think through. It was because I was so damn stubborn that he died. But… just forget it, alright? I don't like talking about it." Roy nodded in understanding—he was never keen on talking about his experiences with war either, even though people usually advised him to talk about it. He never listened.

* * *

"So, you want to come over to my place or do you want to go home?"

"What, aren't you tired of me yet?" Edward teased.

"Actually, yes, but I was just asking out of politeness." Edward smacked him on the end in annoyance.

"Tell the truth, Mustang." Roy smirked and leaned forward. They were seated on the backseat of Roy's black car, both sitting closer than at the beginning of the evening. After they had dessert (AN: For the record, Edward had strawberry-cake, because that's my favourite and I've decided it should be Ed's favourite too x3), they finally went back to the car. Edward felt the previous nervousness rising again as Roy's body kept getting closer.

"The truth, Edo?" he asked. Edward swallowed and nodded, vaguely noticing how he had called him 'Edo' almost affectionately. "The truth is I'd like you to come home with me, to talk some more, drink some more. I really enjoyed this Edo, I'd like to have a second one. But," he paused, this time only his face moving closer. "We'll talk about that after this date is finished."

Then he pulled back and smirked lightly at the heavily blushing boy.

"B-bastard," Edward stuttered and looked away, crossing his arms.


	6. Duty

**AN: **Whoa, I can't believe I actually got so many reviews for this O.o Not that I'm complaining or anything—keep them coming XD

For all the angst-fans, I'm sorry T.T I honestly can't write angst, apparently. I can write drama, humour (at least… I think I can xD), I can write a bit of romance, but I just can't bring myself to make a character overly depressed and angsty. Maybe it's just because it's Edward O.o… But damn. I'll try to make it angsty a bit—the next chapter should contain some angst, at least, since… well, you'll see xD.

Anyway, enjoy this chapter! n.n

**Chapter 5: Duty**

"_I'll see you tomorrow at the office, Edo," Roy said as he dropped the younger Alchemist off in front of Alphonse's apartment. Edward nodded, only vaguely aware of his face moving closer to his. It was… so close. He could feel Roy's breath on his lips and he parted his slightly automatically. "I really enjoyed this Edo," he murmured softly, one hand tangling itself in Edward's hair. _

"_Me too," the blonde said softly, before crossing the small space between their lips and giving him a gentle kiss on the lips. It wasn't needy, no lust at all, but only… love. Comfort. Safety. Something Edward desperately longed for and obviously, Roy as well. They moved their lips against each other for a minute, neither of them ever even thinking about slipping in a tongue, or making it more heated. No, all they cared about was being in each other's presence, feeling each other's arms around them. _

_After they pulled back, Roy wrapped his arms around Edward's waist and pulled him into a hug. The smaller man rested his head on Roy's chest and sighed happily, bathing in warmth, enjoying the smell of the General's cologne. Roy hadn't felt like this in a long time—women had never given him this feeling. Whenever he had been with a woman, it was merely because of lust. Just a one-night stand, nothing more. It was probably at the point when Edward pulled his head from his chest back and looked at him with those golden eyes that Roy realised that he truly did love the boy. _

"_G'night," Edward murmured, pulling back from Roy's grasp, but Roy had no intention of letting go of him just yet. The blonde was surprised when the Flame Alchemist gave him another kiss, again his hand finding its way into Edward's hair. Edward happily returned it, but then pulled back after a moment (much to the dismay of our favourite pony) and smiled lightly, before opening the door. _

"_Goodnight," Roy said, perhaps a little awkwardly. He was mentally noting that he should give them both the day off tomorrow so they could go on a second date… And he was also mentally slapping himself for acting like a love-struck high school-girl. _

* * *

Alphonse sighed the next day when Edward had given him the report of their date. Honestly—weren't little brothers supposed to be grossed out whenever their big brother had a girlfriend, or, in their case, a boyfriend? It's like… an unspoken rule of little brothers. Now that Edward actually thought about it—it was surprising that Alphonse wasn't gay, the way he acted now and then and the way he liked cleaning, the way he liked being like a mother to Edward… Maybe that was why Winry liked Alphonse over Edward—he was, after all, more sensitive and girls usually liked sensitive guys. At least, that's what Maes Hughes had once told him when he had been twelve.

Moving on.

"Niisan, I'm so happy for you!" Alphonse squealed and then promptly glomped his older brother on the couch. Edward chuckled lightly, before they decided a wrestling match was in order to celebrate the success of Edward's date (however girly that may sound). They both tried to pin each other and in the end, due to the fact that Edward had his auto-mail, the older brother won, grinning down happily at a laughing Alphonse.

"Tickle DOOM!" Edward declared, before his fingers started to attack his little brother's sides, neck and anything else that he knew was ticklish. They hadn't been able to touch each other like that, not before when Alphonse still had to walk around in that armour and they both were glad that they were able to wrestle, fight, hug and tickle each other the way normal brothers could do as well.

"Ed!" Alphonse managed to say between laughs. "S-stop!"

"Do you give up?" Edward asked, grinning. Alphonse nodded his head violently and continued to laugh and squirm underneath Edward.

"Y-yes!"

"Geez, how old are you guys anyway?" Winry asked, both of her eyebrows raised and a wrench in her hand. "Aru, you promised to help me with breakfast and instead your wrestling with Edo?" Alphonse looked nervously at Winry.

"Sorry Win, we were talking about last night!" he managed to say, his eyes never leaving the wrench in her hands. Edward couldn't blame him though—he remembered how hard those things could hit him, especially when they were thrown by Winry. Her aim was also impeccable. She sighed and nodded.

"Fine, but get your ass in the kitchen right now!" she said as she turned to leave. Edward loosened his grip on Alphonse's wrists he had been holding and got off of him. Alphonse rubbed the back of his head, smiling.

"You know, she's going easy on you now because she hasn't seen you in years. I still have to deal with the wrenches." Edward grinned at him.

"Well, serves you right. Remember when you were still in the suit of armour? You couldn't feel it when she was hitting you, but I _could_, you're just getting those back now," Edward said, getting off the couch and yawning. "Anyway, I'm getting dressed," he declared, scratching his stomach.

After a quick shower, he stepped into the guestroom naked, lazily looking for his clothes. He heard a soft knock on the door. Seconds later, he heard someone open the door and Alphonse speaking.

"Yes, he's here. Niisan!" Edward could hear, coming from the livingroom. "You can go to his room, General," he then heard his little brother say. _Shit! A towel, towel, towel—_he found the white towel he had been using and put it around his waist, just in time too. Roy entered the room with a smug face, right after he had given one small knock.

"Ah, Fullmetal," he said. Edward looked up and was surprised to see Roy in regular clothes yet again. Apparently, Roy was also admiring the view—he had never known Edward was so… buff (AN: Have you ever _seen_ Edward shirtless? Holy crap, any man would be jealous of THAT six-pack o.o) and fit. The towel was hanging _very_ loosely around his waist and it was rather tempting for Roy to not simply pull the damn thing off and ravish him on the spot. However, the General was a very controlled man and could easily (well, perhaps not easily) refrain him from doing so.

"General Useless," Edward replied, grinning slightly. Roy's smirk faltered. "What are you doing here?"

"Aren't you glad to see me, my dear Edo-chan?" His smirk was back full force when he saw Edward's eye twitch at the nickname.

"Don't. Call. Me. That," he ground out. "And what if my answer was 'no' to that question?"

"Well, that would mean that it's too bad for you. I've taken the liberty to call in sick for the both of us so we can go on our second date." Edward's eye twitched again.

"You did _what!_" Roy blinked innocently. "You can't decide stuff like that!"

"I can, I'm the General. If I want to give you a day off, I can."

"I don't mean that!" Edward shouted exasperatedly. "I meant, you can't decide when we're going on a date! What if I have other plans?"

"But you don't," Roy pointed out.

"… Well—Gha—Not anymore I don't!" Edward's head started to hurt. Roy still looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"Then hurry up and get dressed, Edo-chan. Although," he paused, looking Edward over once more and grinning slightly. "If you want to stay that way, then it's fine by me." The younger man blushed furiously and pushed Roy out the door so he could get dressed.

Five minutes later, Edward emerged from his bedroom and looked up to see Roy waiting patiently for him to get out. Edward sighed and vaguely wondered why he had even fallen for this man. Roy walked over to him and once again pulled the band that held his braid together out of his hair. Edward pouted slightly.

"I told you, you look better without the braid," Roy said, giving the smaller man a quick kiss on the forehead, before he grabbed his hand and guided him out of the apartment.

"Have fun Niisan!" Alphonse chirped from out the kitchen, before the door slammed shut.

"So, where are we going this early then?" Edward finally asked, glancing over at the man sitting next to him in the car.

"There's a village nearby. It's about a two hour drive, I think, and there's currently a funfair, I thought we could go there," Roy replied, swinging an arm over Edward's shoulders and pulling him closer. Edward was again relished in the warmth and comfort and vaguely wondered if they could just stay like that for the rest of the day. Screw the funfair.

When they finally arrived at the fair, Edward didn't know where too look.

"Whoa!" the blonde exclaimed happily. He had never been to a fair before and was amazed by all the people and the attractions. There were stalls where you could win prizes, a ferris wheel, a merry-go-round, bumper cars, a place where people from the crowd could box against the champion of the fair, freak shows (Edward personally wasn't too interested in those) and some other rides for little kids(1).The fair wasn't immensely huge, but it seemed like a lot of fun—something he hadn't had in a very, very long time.

He wanted to get in the bumper cars immediately and unconsciously grabbed Roy's hand, tugging him along. The General smiled happily at Edward's enthusiasm and followed him, gripping the Fullmetal Alchemist's hand a little tighter as they made their way through the crowd. He was sure to make this day great for his Chibi.

* * *

A knock on the door. Two pair of eyes looking at each other. It was odd how Alphonse and Winry both felt as if there was something wrong, as if something terrible would happen if they would open the door.

After one minute of them holding their breath and being as silent as possible, they knocked again and this time the knock was followed by a deep voice, booming through the door.

"This is Colonel Johnson, open the door please!" Winry and Alphonse gave each other another nervous look. 'The military?' she mouthed. Alphonse shrug in response. He walked over to the door and opened it. _Please let it be nothing, let it be nothing important_, he thought to himself, the anxious feeling he had in his stomach growing as he looked at the man in front of him.

"Good afternoon, Colonel," Alphonse said coolly, looking at him intently.

"Does Edward Elric live here?" the man asked immediately—he hardly had the time for pleasantries.

"Yes, but he's not home right now," Alphonse said. The Colonel nodded, before he took out a pen and a small piece of paper and hastily scribbled something on it.

"If he gets home, please let him call this number. We need him back in Drachma," he said, pushing the piece of paper in Alphonse's hand and walking off.

To Winry and the younger brother, it felt as if their hearts had stopped beating.

* * *

**AN:** Dun dun dun DUUUUUUUUN…. O.o Yah. Oh dear, what'll happen to our lovely Edward?

(1)In case you didn't know, they had all those things in that time. I was actually surprised myself when I looked up the information about it O.o. Maybe I'm just an idiot or something, but I hadn't expected that there were bumper cars during that time already. Of course, I have no idea if they were already there in the FMA-Universe, but just imagine that those attractions were already there x3. The wrestling now is actually forbidden, but it wasn't at that time and those freak shows were there too O.o.


	7. Goodbye

**AN: **Ah, I'm not really happy with this chapter T.T But I needed to write this one since it's important x.x And it has RoyEd fluffiness X3!

And again, this is not really angsty, but more on the drama-side I guess O.o… Maybe I should switch it XD.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Goodbye**

Edward hadn't felt so happy in a very long time. He glanced over at Roy who was sitting next to him in the Ferris wheel and felt his heartbeat go up as the Flame Alchemist looked back at him, a rare smile gracing his face. Not a grin nor an annoying, arrogant smirk. Just a smile. He looked back to the front—they had reached the top and gained an amazing view of the village. It was evening, the lights illuminating the fair, giving it a glow. Edward cursed himself for acting like such a girl, but he found it… romantic.

He found himself scooting closer to Roy, as one arm wrapped itself around his shoulders and another hand was placed on the side of his hip. Edward raised his head to face Roy and immediately felt warm lips pressed on his own, moving against him. His arms found their way to Roy's chest and waist and he let out a small snort as the hand that was on his hips, hit a ticklish spot.

When he felt a tongue glide over his bottom lip, he let out a small gasp in surprise. Roy took this opportunity to slip his tongue inside Edward's mouth and started to massage the latter's tongue. Edward moaned softly—he didn't care that Roy was having the upper hand, he liked it. He moved his tongue slightly and was pleased to hear that he had elicited a small moan from Roy as well.

Roy was in seventh heaven himself—he had never known that even such a simple thing as a kiss could feel so special when it was with Edward. His heart was pounding loudly, his chest was feeling weird and he wished that he could do this the rest of his life. He usually got tired of women so quickly and easily—they were nothing special and they became boring. But Edward… Roy could feel that this was different. Of course, he had known that for two years, since he had decided to wait with dating until Edward came home (he hadn't known it would be for two years, but he had prevailed nonetheless!).

The moment was over when the wheel started to turn again and they both stopped for air. Roy mentally cursed the wheel and their need for oxygen as he gave Edward another quick kiss on the lips when they stepped out of the attraction.

"Well, we'd better go home," Roy announced. "It's getting late and we still have a two hour drive ahead of us. Edward groaned.

"Ugh, don't remind me."

* * *

They arrived just before midnight at Edward's home. The drive had been terribly boring, for both Edward and Roy. Roy had wanted to make-out, obviously, but Edward had refused to do so when there was a man glancing at them through the mirror every ten seconds. Roy then had told the driver to not look in the mirror, to which Edward had smacked him, saying he was a pervert and that he should wait. It was highly unfortunate for Roy, since none of his female dates had ever had problems with public display of affection.

"Well, thanks for taking me to the fair, Roy!" Edward said, grinning. He really had enjoyed himself. Before Roy could answer though, the door immediately opened, showing a very nervous Alphonse. Edward blinked.

"Niisan! Where've you been? The military was here, they want you back in Drachma!" The happiness that Edward had felt before came crashing down instantly, leaving only a feeling of dread and fear. The same went for Roy.

"W-what?" Alphonse pulled them both inside the apartment and walked to Edward's bedroom, getting out only seconds later with a suitcase in his hands. "They want me _now_?" Alphonse shook his head.

"They want you back within the month. You're going to Auntie Pinako and stay there until the war's over. I refuse to let you go there!" Alphonse said, his eyes starting to tear. Edward could see Winry sitting on the couch, her face buried in her hands. He felt a trembling hand on his shoulder and found that it was Roy's, who was looking at him intently.

"They'll find him there," Roy said. "If he disappears, the first place they'll search for is his hometown."

"Well, where else is he supposed to go then! Don't tell me that you want him to go back there!" Alphonse yelled, completely losing control of his emotions. All he could think about was that his brother had to go back to fight the war, had to risk his life again. All he could think about was that his older brother could never return again.

He had been living in fear for two years and he wasn't planning to let his brother go again.

Roy's grip on Edward's shoulder tightened slightly as he tried his best to stay calm himself. "Of course not Alphonse, I'm just saying that if you send him there, he will be found and probably get executed for treason or get sent back to Drachma anyway. Edo, have you tried resigning?" Edward nodded.

"Yeah, but they wouldn't let me go. I can only resign once the war is over," Edward replied, his voice shaking slightly.

"It was a direct order from the Führer," Alphonse added. Roy nodded.

"Is there a place where they won't search for you?" Edward thought over for a moment, before he shook his head.

"Auntie Pinako is the only one we have," Alphonse said. He sat down on the couch next to Winry and gently swung an arm around her shoulders, while burrowing his face in his other free hand. "Damn it, what are we supposed to do then?" he asked to no one in particular. Edward shrugged.

"Listen, it's my own goddamn fault that I went there in the first place. This is my problem and I'll just have to go back th—" Roy cut him off with a chaste kiss, grabbing both of the older Elric's shoulders with his hands and, after pulling back, he looked at him in the eyes.

"This is _not_ your problem, this is _our_ problem. Alphonse, Winry and I have a say in this too." Edward was quiet and cast his eyes down to the ground. He didn't want to go back, he didn't want to leave everybody behind again. He didn't want to kill people anymore, he didn't want to see other's die in front of him. He didn't want to fight for his life anymore. He just wanted to live with his brother, his childhood friend and the person he loved.

But what could Alphonse and Winry do against the military? Absolutely nothing. They could hide him for a brief moment, but that would also mean that they were involved in his running away from the military, which would cause a lot more trouble for them as well. And Roy could hardly do anything, since he was a General and it had been a direct order from the Führer and had probably been requested by General Bell.

If he went back, chances were that he would never see his brother, Winry and Roy again. The chances of him dying there on the battlefield were immensely high and, even if he did survive, he had no idea of how much he could take. The nightmares were already severe—he didn't want to see any more blood or bodies for the rest of his life.

He couldn't do anything. He was trapped.

"I think we should all think about this. Edward, come outside with me for a moment. I need to talk to you," Roy said. Alphonse and Winry both stood up.

"No, you can stay here. We're going to bed as well," he quickly said, giving a small smile before grabbing his fiancée's hand and heading to their bedroom. Edward turned to face Roy and was surprised when he felt the man's lips pressing on his hungrily, his tongue immediately entering Edward's mouth, taking advantage of the smaller boy's surprise. Roy's arms snaked their way around the smaller man's waist and pulled him closer, their bodies pressing together. Edward threw his arms around Roy's neck and ran a hand through his black hair, lingering on the back of the General's head.

When they finally parted for breath, they let their foreheads rest against each other, both of them panting slightly and never once breaking the eye contact they had made.

"Edward," Roy breathed. "I love you." Edward thought that, at that moment, he couldn't breath.

"I love you too Roy," he said, his voice shaking. Roy gave him a soft and warm smile, before he pressed his lips on Edward's forehead. "I have to go. Bye." Roy gave him a look Edward couldn't identify, before he walked out the door. The older Elric stood rooted at the same spot for over fifteen minutes, just looking at the door, before he headed towards his own bed for a restless night.

Roy sighed as he stepped into the car and ran a hand through his black hair. He honestly didn't know what he was doing, all he knew was that he wanted to do this for him. He didn't want him to go back, he didn't want to miss Edward, but some things just couldn't be helped. What Roy was going to do could kill him, could scar him even more, but he would do it.

He would do this for him.

Roy didn't sleep that night.

* * *

The next day, Edward's only reason to go to work was to see Roy again. He wanted to see that face as much as possible, before he had to leave to Drachma. Edward just couldn't see any other solution—all involved a high risk for the people he called his family getting into trouble just for him. He didn't want them to suffer because he made, yet again, a stupid mistake. That had happened too many times before and he didn't want it to happen again.

When he entered the office, he saw, to his surprise, Riza sitting behind Roy's desk, her face buried in her hands. Edward thought he could hear her sob slightly and found out seconds after he had closed the door behind him, she actually was.

"What's wrong?" he asked her. She looked up, tears streaming down her face, before she took a piece of paper that was lying on Roy's desk. Edward's heart started to pound louder as he felt fear welling up inside of him. There was something wrong, something very wrong. He immediately grabbed the paper and started to read it.

"T-this," he started. Riza nodded.

"There was also this," she said, wiping the tears away from her face. She gave Edward another letter, this time sealed in an envelope and addressed to him. He opened it.

_Dear Edward, _

_I'm sorry that I have to tell it to you like this, but there was no time to visit you, nor did I have the courage to do so. I called the Führer yesterday and I managed to convince him to withdraw his order. There was one condition—that I would go in your place. _

By this time, Edward's eyes started to tear and it dawned on him why Roy had acted so weird—why Roy had told him that he loved him and why Roy had looked at him as if he would never see him again.

_By the time you read this, I'm already gone. I hope you can wait for me to return to you, which, I assure you, I will. _

_With all my love,_

_Roy. _

"T-that idiot," Edward sobbed.

Riza could only agree with him.

* * *

**AN:** Kyaaaa, I was actually planning on letting Edward hide out with Roy so that there was oobermuchos fluffiness, but I think this'll be a little more exciting, ne? x3 And, don't worry about anything, I'm a firm believer of happy endings x3… well, most of the time. I still haven't decided—happy, or not? I'll let the audience choose n.n 


	8. Good Hallucinations

**AN: **Eek, thanks for all the reviews! X3 So, most people want a happy ending, huh? I can give you that xD. Frankly, I want a happy one as well, so nyah x3. Sorry ookamilupin who wants a sad ending. I'm afraid this'll be a sappy ending too… 'cause, well… I personally like that xD I hope you'll keep on reading though and I might make an alternate ending? O.o

Anyway, hope you all enjoy the next chapter! X3 And sorry for the shortness, I figured it would be a good place to stop for now o.o

* * *

**Chapter 8: Good Hallucinations **

"Aru!" he yelled as he stormed into the apartment. Alphonse was doing research and glanced up from his book, a frown on his face, while Winry looked up from the auto-mail arm she was working on. "It's Roy, he's gone!" Edward panted—he ran all the way from the military headquarters to the apartment and was completely out of breath. "He went to Drachma _instead of me_!" he then managed to say, before he sat down on the couch, clutching his chest with his metallic hand. He heard Alphonse and Winry gasp.

"That idiot!" he exclaimed. "H-how? Why? Damn, we could've found a way out of it! I know we could have," Alphonse punched the table with his fist. Edward continued to pant a couple of seconds.

"Damn it, what am I going to do now?" he said, tears yet again welling up. "He went there for me! How could that bastard do that?" His tears and his lack of hope only earned him a wrench against his head from Winry. Despite the humongous bump on his head, he looked up to her, scowling slightly as he rubbed his pounding head.

"What are you going to do!" she repeated, fists clutching at her side. "What you are going to do is go after him and get the bastard back of course! If you hurry up you can still catch up to him, right? Trains don't leave their stations at night and the earliest train was at six a.m. so he only has a three hour head start, if you take the next one, there is a high chance you can catch up to him!" Edward blinked—it didn't sound like a bad plan.

"But what if he doesn't catch up to him Winry?" Alphonse asked, crossing his arms.

"Then he'll go to Drachma if he has to!"

"No, because then he'll get caught up in that war anyway!"

"Well, he needs to get Roy back, doesn't he!"

"Not if Roy sacrificed himself to get Niisan out of his duty!"

"Guys, stop making my decisions!" Edward finally yelled. All was quiet. "I'm going to get Roy back," he said, his blonde bangs covering his eyes and his fists clenched. "I'll go after him. I'll go undercover, if I have to, so the military and the people of Drachma won't recognise me." Alphonse sighed.

"Niisan, what do you plan to do after that, huh? The military won't like it, they'll chase you and you'll ruin Roy's carrier—you really want to do that?"

"But Aru! I can't just… sit here," Edward said, looking defeated. "I can't just let him put his life on the line just because I made a stupid mistake!" Alphonse sat down next to him on the couch and put an arm around him, rubbing Edward's shoulder in a comforting matter. This was one of those times when he was glad that he wasn't a suit of armour anymore—all those times he wanted to give his brother a warm embrace…

"Niisan, I know you care about him, but if you go after him now, you'll take all of his efforts for granted. He didn't want you to go back, so he went for you." Edward gave his brother a smile.

"Aru, you and I both know I can't stay here," he finally said. Alphonse gave him a small smile in return and sighed.

"I know, but it was worth a shot."

* * *

Roy sat in one of the seats in the back, looking out the window. He noted that it was snowing, which wasn't really surprising. He was resting his head on his hand as he looked pensively at the dark sky.

He was wondering if he was doing the right thing.

_Why are you wondering that, Roy?_

Roy blinked and looked up, eyes widening as he saw Maes Hughes sitting across him, grinning happily. _Yo_, his voice said, and gave a small wave, before bursting out laughing. Roy was looking at him with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide—a very rare sight.

"H-Hughes?" he muttered. "Shit, I must've drank too much beer before I left." He flapped his hand against the appearance of Hughes and saw that his hand flapped right through it. Hughes chuckled again.

_Nah, what you see is real, buddy,_ he said. _You can see me, can't you? Just 'cause you can't touch me, doesn't mean I'm not here._(1) Roy barked a short laughed. _So, you've finally found someone worth loving, huh? _Apparently, Hughes 'ghost' seemed to know about him and Edward.

"If you know about it, don't ask me," Roy muttered softly. Hughes smiled.

_Well, he's a good kid, _he stated.

"I know that," Roy replied, chuckling softly. "Damn, I'm talking to a hallucination. I really have gone out of my mind." He saw the ghost-Hughes shrug.

_I guess I could be a hallucination, I don't know. You just need me right now, that's all._

"Well, it's true I could use some advice, Maes," Roy replied, sighing and rubbing his temples. "This all seemed like such a good idea last night, y'know, but now that I'm actually near it… I'll be honest, I'm scared," he admitted. He was glad that there were no other people around—not many men, women or children would actually travel _to _Drachma these days.

_What are you scared of?_

The question was so simple, that Roy had already opened his mouth to say, 'going to war, of course!', but before he could utter a word, he thought about it. Yes, he was scared of the war—but that didn't feel like it was the only thing. That answer wasn't complete. Was he scared of dying? Two years ago, he would've said 'no'. Was he scared of never seeing Edward again?

The only reason why he went to Drachma in the first place, was for Edward. He loved him and there was no reason to deny his feelings anymore—he was surprised that even after two years of never seeing him, his feelings for the younger man were still so strong. He hadn't known for sure in the beginning that it was really being 'in love'—he was still doubting whether or not the feelings were simply feelings one would have towards a brother or a normal friend.

However, when Edward had gone away… a part of him was simply missing. And when Edward had returned, he hadn't ever felt happier—sure, it may sound sappy, but it was the truth. He found that he wanted to touch Edward; hug him, kiss him. It didn't matter, but he wanted to be close to him.

That's why he went to Drachma.

If Edward had gone away again, nobody could reassure him if he would be back. Nobody could tell him when he would be back. Nobody could prove to Roy that Edward would survive this—whether physically or mentally. The Elric was strong, but even the toughest of men could be affected by the horrors of war.

Therefore, Roy had decided he would go himself. He decided that the moment Alphonse had told them about the visit of the Colonel—there was no way he would let Edward go to Drachma.

"I'm scared of never seeing him again," he finally said. Hughes smiled at him and Roy found that it comforted him.

_You don't have to worry about that Roy, _he said. _Anyway, have you visited Elysia lately? She's so cute! Turning seven soon! She brings flowers to my grave every month, it's so sweet! _Roy sighed. He wondered if he could set a hallucination on fire.

* * *

The entire journey to Drachma was long, boring and harsh. Drachma was North of Ametris, so the further you went, the colder it was.

You could go there by train until you reached the border of Drachma—all public traffic was locked off due to the war and only military personnel could go in; they were especially happy to see another State Alchemist when he showed his silver pocket watch, though they couldn't be sure who exactly he was.

Edward had taken up a disguise. He had dyed his hair green using alchemy and wore regular, round glasses, making him look kind of like a geek, but also taking the attention away from his unusual golden eyes. He decided to wear the military uniform he got when he was in Drachma on his first day. Everybody was obligated to wear one (he resented the fact that they had to especially make a new one for him, when they found out he didn't fit in any of the regular ones).

People looked disgusted with him during the entire ride on the train and, frankly, he felt disgusting too. Once the godforsaken war was over, he would either quit the military and live a peaceful life, or dedicate his life to research alchemy. For the latter, he could stay in the military—he'd stay a State Alchemist, though didn't need to do the regular things, like taking up field missions or fight in wars. As long as he showed his accomplishments once every year, he would be given funds for it.

He had no idea where to search for him, so he decided to first go to the military base Alphonse had told him about. Apparently, the Colonel who had visited them while Edward was away, had give them enough information after a couple of… drinks. Edward had thanked his friends dearly for being so smart and for them lacking respect for the military. Alphonse had managed to get information about the military plans, bases and where they would send Edward to. That was also the base Edward would first go searching.

He'd find him. He had to.

* * *

(1) For those of you who've seen the anime—remember the part where Edward sits in the train right after Hughes died and he sees Hughes waving at him from a station? That part was so… perty, it made me cry T.T Also the part where Elysia starts crying and saying they shouldn't bury him… I was crying my eyes out XD. Anyway, I'm kind of going with that here. Besides, I like Hughes and I wanted to put him in there somewhere x3 


	9. Can't Smile Without You

**AN: PEOPLE! This is the last chapter of Inerasable Memories! I might write an epilogue, but I'm not sure about it. I hope you enjoyed the story and please also check out Central Prison, my newest RoyEd fic! **

**  
Also, I actually made an AMV (hence the late update) XD It's my first one ever xD Go check it out : http/ www. youtube. com/ watch? vvEszonzrKN4**

**Don't forget to take out the spaces x3. **

**I also just noticed that I haven't put Riza in ANYWHERE O.O… well, not after she decided to get information out of Alphonse anyway. Crap. I totally forgot about her T.T. I'm so sorry Riza! xD**

**The song at the end is of Barry Manilow, but I loved it a lot, so I put it in x3**

**And thanks to BasketCase14 who told me it was 'career'. I know it's a lame excuse, but in my first language (Dutch), it's 'carriere', so I guess that I got it from there xD. It was weird though, because I knew it wasn't the right word O.o… a carrier is like a wagon, right? xD **

**Okay, I'll stop rambling now X3.**

**Wait… Not yet. I'd also like to thank everyone who has ever reviewed my story and also the ones who haven't, but read it anyway X3. Yes, I know you're there, because I can see how many hits I have! Mwuahahahaha! **

**Enjoy the last chapter! (although it is kind of sappy… ah well x3) And no lemons T.T If I write an epilogue, there will be a lemon with it! It all depends whether or not people want one n.n **

**9: Can't Smile Without You**

He arrived in a secret military base in Drachma two weeks after he had left Central to find Roy. Unfortunately, but as Alphonse and Edward had suspected, he did not see Roy anywhere, nor did he catch up to him—his head start was just too big.

He was brought by when he had entered Drachma, along with several other soldiers who had just arrived there. It was obvious that the army was desperate to have more men (and women) out there. Edward didn't know too much about the war, but he had heard rumours that Amestris was losing and, to be honest, Edward hoped they were. It had been Amestris who had started the whole damn war, without any reason at all—they had _heard _and _speculated_ that Drachma was going to bomb Central, but none of that had been ever proven. The Führer had declared war then, claiming that it was better than 'to just wait until Drachma makes their first move'.

On the one hand, Edward found that the Führer did have a point. However, nothing had been proven and they weren't even sure that Drachma would have even attacked them.

The war had been going on for almost three years now and Amestris had made it further into their country, slowly taking over each and every city and village, killing nearly everybody on their way. Edward had no idea why they were still fighting, especially since they barely had any men left—they would soon have to recruit other non-military people—young boys, old men who are still strong enough to hold a gun. Anybody they could get.

Edward just hoped the stupid war would be put to an end as soon as possible—he didn't want Alphonse to be recruited.

The base was located in a thick forest near one of the many mountains. Even though it had been reasonably warm in Central, there was a thick pack of snow lying all over the country, giving the people of Drachma an advantage—they were used to the snow and the people of Amestris weren't. They would often stumble through the woods, occasionally sacking deeper in a heap of snow or tripping over branches that weren't visible. They made more noise than the people of Drachma, who could move without barely even making a sound, giving them a great advantage when surprise-attacking in the forest. Edward was surprised that the people of Amestris had even made the woods into their base, but it was rather good for cover, he supposed. Better than an open field anyway.

It was also near a small town that had been recently taken over by Amestris. Edward knew about it—the village had been famous for its many café's, bars and restaurants and now that it was in the hands of Amestris, soldiers went there every evening they were off to have a good time. There was no doubt that, if Roy Mustang was there, he'd be pouring liquor into his body every minute he could.

"Major Elric!" Once Edward stepped out of the truck which had taken him, he heard a deep voice boom out his name. He blinked and turned around, only to find his former commanding officer standing in front of him. In some ways, Edward had always thought General Bell resembled Major Armstrong—with his amazing height, muscles and, of course, the moustache. He didn't have those horrible pink sparkles every time he got excited though and he had a thick mop of black hair on his head, instead of the little baby-like, blonde curl Armstrong had.

"General Bell, what are you doing here?" Edward asked, genuinely surprised, though not in a bad way. "I thought you were stationed further into the country." Bell nodded.

"Yes, I was. I got transferred a week ago, since they needed more men here," he said. "But why are you here? And in disguise, no less!" Edward blinked and then smacked himself on the forehead, groaning. He had completely forgotten that he wore a disguise. He quickly looked around to see if anybody had heard them, but, seeing as no one was paying attention to them, he quickly took a step closer to Bell.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked him. Bell chuckled lightly.

"Edward, don't take this the wrong way, but you are the smallest State Alchemist to have ever joined the military. Although I must say that green hair doesn't suit you at all—you look like you have a wig on your head made of seaweed. Care to explain why you're here?" Edward sighed, deciding to ignore the 'small' comment (he could handle seaweed-hair).

"I came here looking for someone. He just arrived here, I believe, do you know General Roy Mustang?" Bell rubbed his chin for a minute, looking pensively at the black sky above him.

"I think he arrived here five hours ago. The Flame Alchemist, right?" Edward nodded. "Ah yes, he went to get a tent of his own, but that was the last thing I saw of him. Try the town nearby, it's only a two mile walk from here," the General added, pointing southwards. "Just walk straight ahead." Edward nodded.

"Thanks General," he said.

"That's quite alright, mister Black!" he boomed, before leaning down and whispering to Edward, "hey, you don't want to be recognised, right?", before putting a hand on Edward's shoulder and walking past him.

When the General had left, he grinned mischievously. Before he would go to Xion, he'd go visit an old friend of his.

It seemed to take him forever and he was cursing his short legs as he stumbled through the snow, occasionally completely sacking through until his knees, since his auto-mail leg was so heavy. But that wasn't the only reason why it seemed to take so long—Edward was simply nervous to see if Roy was in the small town Xion, and he desperately hoped he was. He couldn't wait to see him again.

After twenty very long minutes, he finally saw the small lights of the town in the distance and, as he got closer, he also heard cheerful music coming from the buildings. Now all he needed to do was find out in which one of these Roy was, so, he decided to use logics.

Roy.

Used to love girls.

Womanizer.

Skirts.

Edward looked around until he spotted a bar with a sign hanging from it. On the sign, there was a pair of female legs, and a small bit of skirt. Edward grumbled, before walking over to that place and took a deep breath and entered.

The bar was very crowded—it was mostly filled with soldiers, though there were some women from the town itself. There was one woman standing on stage singing soft music—it wasn't really too festive or anything, and definitely not what Edward had expected when he had seen the sign. The place was kind of fancy. There were several couple on the dance floor, slow dancing on the soft rhythm, though most of the people were sitting down.

He didn't see him immediately, since he was seated in the corner all by himself, sipping from his beer. Edward had to search for him a couple of times as his vision was often blurred by the girls. They were like a pack of hyena's, Edward mentally noted, before he finally spotted Roy. Edward smiled softly when he saw how he actually turned down a beautiful blonde woman, who walked off disappointedly.

Edward took another deep breath and strode to the round table Roy was seated on. Roy didn't notice this—he was looking inside of the glass, a defeated expression on his face. He didn't even notice it when Edward sat down on the chair on the opposite side of the table.

"Hey there, sexy," Edward said, using a _very _high voice, which made him sound like a girl. It worked, since Roy didn't even look up.

"Not interested," he grumbled. Edward pouted slightly.

"You're not interested in _me_?" he asked, again using the high-pitched voice.

"I'm already taken," Roy said, using that dull tone in his voice. Uncaring.

"You bet your ass on that one," Edward replied, this time using his regular voice. It took a moment for Roy to realise that it had been a very familiar voice who spoke those words, before he looked up, eyes widened.

"E-Edward!" he exclaimed, his eyes filled with shock, before turning into anger. "What the hell are you doing here!"

He suddenly felt a stinging pain on his cheek. Edward had slapped him with his flesh hand, leaving a red mark. Roy looked disbelievingly at Edward, trying to figure out if this was real or not.

"Bastard," Edward grumbled. "You left so I didn't have to? What were you thinking! I can't believe you would actually do something like that! You know how fucking worried I was about you! Damn it Roy, I could've figured out some—"

"No, you couldn't," Roy stated firmly. He sighed, before continuing, "Edo," he said softly. "Why did you come after me? Why did you do that?"

"So I could kick your sorry ass and drag you back home," Edward said, crossing his arms on his chest and looking determined at Roy. Roy merely shook his head.

"If I go home, I'll be thrown in jail or executed, or whatever. It'll be bad. I have to participate now, or else you'll have to. It's you or me and I prefer it to be me, so go home now before you get caught up in this!" Edward shook his head, grinning slightly. Roy blinked—whenever Edward grinned like that, it meant that he had something up his sleeve.

"No you won't," he just said.

"Yes, I will."

"No. You won't," Edward stated firmly. Roy sighed.

"Fine, I'll play your little game. _Why_ won't I get thrown in jail?" Edward's grin grew.

"I have a friend who's in charge of all the records about who's arriving and who's allowed to leave," he said. "When I went away two years ago, I met him. A year ago, he was transferred to this place, so I visited him today—he owed me a favour, since I saved his ass way back when. There was this huge attack, some guys came out and had set our base on fire, and Robert—that's his name—was stuck in one of the bigger tents, he couldn't get out. I rescued him from there. Anyway, I just visited him and asked him if he could return the favour and change some records—everything he'll send to Central, won't be questioned, since he's practically as powerful as a General. So, he wrote down that you had an injury and had to be sent back immediately and can't fight for at least three months time. I was scheduled to stay three more months, since I had signed myself up for two and a half years," Roy blinked.

"Edward, you know that it's fraud, right?" Edward nodded happily. "And that, if anyone would find out, all of us will get executed, including this Robert, right?" Edward nodded again.

"Yup, but they won't find out, because Robert's a genius. He's done these things before anyway, to soldiers who want to go home and visit their families. He just fills in a form only he's allowed to fill in and they'll send you back home." Roy raised an eyebrow sceptically. "Don't look at me like that! It's at least better than what _you _did, you bastard," Edward added, grumbling.

"I suppose so," Roy mumbled. "So, I really am allowed to leave?" Edward nodded cheerfully. "But what about you? Shouldn't you go to Drachma now?" The blonde shook his head.

"No, because that was the deal right? You go and I don't have to. Well, you went, so I'm not obligated to do anything. We'll have to wait a day with leaving of course, since it has to be convincing that you were injured, but we're definitely going to get out of here. Now thank me for what I did for you," he said, grinning maliciously. Roy leaned back on his chair, smirking.

"If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't be here in the first place," he said. "So we're even." Edward pouted, looking away from him. They both looked up as the woman on the stage began with a new song. It was nice, slow, relaxing.

_You know I can't smile without you, _

_I can't smile without you,_

_I can't laugh and I can't sing,_

_I'm finding it hard to do anything_

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"You want to dance?" Edward blinked. "Don't worry, if anybody asks, we'll tell them I'm teaching you to dance so you can impress girls," Roy added, smirking lightly. Edward stuck his tongue out. The raven-haired man stood up and offered the blonde his hand. Edward took it and they both walked to the dancing floor, Roy's hand still in Edward's, while his other one was on the smaller man's waist. Edward had his other hand placed on Roy's shoulders and they slowly started to move with the beat.

_You see, I feel sad when you're sad, _

_I feel glad when you're glad, _

_If you only knew, what I'm going through,_

_I just can't smile without you_

Both men didn't realise that their bodies kept getting closer and soon Edward's head was leaning against Roy's chest, a content smile on his face as he took in the older man's scent. Roy smiled softly and buried his face in the blonde hair, as they kept on moving.

_You came along, just like a song, _

_And brightened my day, _

_Who would've believed that you were part of a dream, _

_Now it all seems lightyears away_

Nobody stopped to look at the dancing couple—nobody cared, except maybe for a couple of women who had their eyes on Roy and were trying to glare daggers at the smaller man, who looked as if he was in heaven. And maybe he was.

_And now you know I can't smile without you,_

_I can't smile without you,_

_I can't laugh and I can't sing,_

_I'm finding it hard to do anything_

The song continued as Edward pulled his head slightly back so he could look into those black eyes. They stared back at him and he found that their faces were inching closer—Edward hadn't forgotten about all the soldiers in the room and tried to pull back. However, Roy had quick reflexes and had apparently manoeuvred one hand so it could rest on the back of Edward's head.

"Don't worry Edo," Roy breathed, still inching closer. "If anybody asks, I'll tell them I was teaching you how to kiss." Roy crossed the final inch and kissed Edward softly on his lips, savouring each taste and each second as he moved his mouth against the blonde's, who whimpered slightly at the touch. It wasn't needy, not like the kiss Roy had given him right before he had left, but this time full of comfort.

Full of love.

_Now some people say, _

_Happiness takes so very long to find,_

_Well I'm finding it hard,_

_Leaving your love behind me_

Edward moved as well, slowly entering Roy's mouth with his tongue, his arms wrapping around Roy's neck. They had completely forgotten that they were in the middle of a bar, filled with people (Sidenote: most of the girls who had been jealous of Edward were now enjoying the show very much, even though they died from blood loss five minutes afterwards). They didn't care.

_I can't smile without you,_

_I can't smile without you,_

_I can't laugh and I can't sing,  
I'm finding hard to do anything_

_I feel glad when you're glad,_

_I feel sad when you're sad,_

_If you only knew what I'm going through,_

_I just can't smile without you_

They pulled back for air and continued their dance, even after the music died out.

**-Owari-**


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**Three Months Later (Ah, the wonders of time-skipping!) **

"Bastard," he grumbled through clenched teeth.

"I told you not to wear your hair in a braid anymore," he replied smoothly, holding up the little band out of the blonde boy's reach.

It had been three months since that day in Drachma. Both men had made it out safely, the war was over and Edward had quit the military permanently. Now that he wasn't a part of the army anymore, him and Roy were able to 'come out', surprising everyone except Winry, Alphonse and Riza.

Roy had been surprised when Riza had told him she knew about their relationship—apparently, she had somehow gotten it out of Alphonse. He didn't want to know what kind of torture she had put the poor boy through, and so didn't question it any further.

Roy had been lucky enough that he had such wonderful subordinates (though he would never admit it). They had been very understanding and even congratulated him with his relationship, with the exception of Farman, who had asked Roy if he was still planning on becoming Führer and making a policy for the female staff to wear mini-skirts.

Roy had thought about it for a while, but then shook his head and had told him that the only one he wanted to see in a mini-skirt, was Edward, on which Farman had shuddered and had muttered a 'no thanks', though he had decided to stick with Roy either way.

Edward had opened up a small lab and was researching new methods for using alchemy—namely for health, which was an admirable thing to do, Roy found. They had moved in with each other, since Edward didn't want to trouble his brother and new wife too much and Roy had to admit he liked the company.

He had been scared at first, when Edward just showed up with his suitcase, entering his house and throwing his stuff in Roy's bedroom. He had to admit that Edward did have some nerve to just invite himself over like that, but that was probably one of the many things Roy liked about him.

He had been afraid—he was scared that he would get tired of Edward if he spent so much time with him. It was a stupid excuse, he knew that, but it was the truth. His relationships never lasted, because the women he had dated were boring and didn't keep his interest very long. When Roy had told Edward this, the blonde had merely shrugged and told him that he wasn't planning on leaving any time soon, even _if_ Roy became tired of him. Roy had chuckled at that.

"Give it back to me, right. Now!" Edward growled, jumping in the air in an attempt to grab it. Roy held it up higher, waving it tauntingly.

"Equivalent exchange, Edo, equivalent exchange," he smirked as Edward pouted.

"Fine, what do you want?" he said, narrowing his eyes.

"Why, Edo-chan, I think you know perfectly well what I want," Roy purred, leaning closer to Edward, who blushed slightly.

"D—don't call me that, bastard," he muttered. He gave a quick peck on Roy's lips. "There, that's enough for the stupid thing, now give it back!" Roy quirked an eyebrow.

"That hardly satisfied me, Edo," he told him.

"Damn it Roy, I'm tired! Can't you ever get enough!" Roy smirked and Edward swallowed nervously—wrong thing to say. The General snaked an arm around the blonde's waist and pulled him closer, giving a small lick at a very sensitive spot on Edward's neck.

"I could never get enough of you, Edo-chan," he murmured. He patted himself mentally on the back when he got a moan from Edward in response and continued to attack his love's neck, all the while guiding him to the bed. Edward kissed him roughly on the mouth as they lied down, Roy hovering over the smaller man as they started to undress each other.

They had to break away several times, groaning as they did so, but eventually managed to get all of the annoying items off of their bodies, both men impatiently grinding their hips together in an attempt to get closer.

Roy loved this part—the part where Edward was squirming underneath him, almost begging him to continue. The parted lips, the flushed cheeks and panting and moaning aroused him so much, he could hardly take it and dipped in for another kiss, relishing in the taste and warmth of Edward's mouth. He heard the blonde underneath him moan as he gently bit on his bottom lip and sucking on it, before he withdrew, getting a small whimper of disappointment from Edward. He chuckled lightly and instead started to suck on his neck, leaving a red mark.

Roy had always been slightly possessive, especially of his blonde boyfriend and always had the tendency to mark him like that, to show that he was already taken. Roy couldn't stand the fact if others would even _look _at him. Edward had often scowled at him for being an over-possessive bastard with a God-complex when Roy started to kiss him in _public_, but he didn't care. As long as people knew that Edward was _his_.

He continued kissing Edward's body—starting off with his neck and going downwards, sucking on one of the blonde's nipples in the process. Edward moaned loudly and tangled his flesh hand in Roy's hair, gently caressing his head. Roy had always liked the way Edward touched him with such gentleness and love—it was much different from anybody who he had ever been with.

Roy decided it was enough with the foreplay, as he couldn't wait any longer—he had to have him _now_. He crawled up to Edward's face and gave him a passionate kiss, their tongues briefly meeting each other, before he pulled away and lifting Edward's legs a bit. He grabbed the tube of lubrication that was lying on the nightstand and covered his arousal with it, all the while looking at Edward's awaiting face. He liked the way the blonde was always impatient when it came to sex.

Edward gasped when Roy gently entered him—the first time had been very painful for him, but he had grown used to it and the pain was a lot less now, though it was still there. Roy had always gone slow for him, always holding it in until Edward himself was ready. He pushed himself in, all the while kissing Edward's neck, face, chest in some form of apology.

"Roy," Edward panted, a sign for the General that he was ready. Roy started to push him in and out gently, in a steady pace as their pants became heavier and their heartbeats increased. Beads of sweat dripped off their bodies as their pace increased—Roy practically pounding into Edward and the blonde clinging to Roy's shoulders, desperate to have some form of support as his release was near.

"Edo," Roy breathed, kissing the blonde everywhere as one of his hands found Edward's hard-on and started pumping it. Edward moaned loudly, moving along with the hand as he came closer and closer.

Just one more hard thrust from Roy was enough to have them both see stars as they came—Roy inside of Edward and Edward on both of their stomachs and Roy's hand. Before Roy collapsed on top of him, he pulled himself out of Edward and panted heavily. Edward wrapped his arms around Roy's waist and kept him on top of him, burying his face in the black hair.

They both sighed happily, a smile on their faces as they relished in the warmth, despite the overwhelming smell of sex and sweat that hung in the room. They ignored it for the time being and instead focused on each other's body.

The next day, as they still laid in the bed in each other's arms and Roy looked at the peaceful face of the sleeping Edward, he smiled.

And he knew that he would never, ever get tired of this one.

**AN: Well, that's the epilogue! I don't often write lemons, so I hope I haven't disappointed any of you with this T.T **

**I decided to answer some reviews too… maa, here it goes:**

**Lunastar: Yeah, I know. Well, they pronounce it like "Alu", I believe—at least, that's what I can make out of it o.o Nyah, it doesn't matter so much x3. And thanks, I really appreciate that!**

**Ookimalupin: Thanks! XD **

**Kyuukorochan: As you wish :3**

**Basketcase: Yeah, I know xD I frankly am surprised at how many Dutch people are on FF who write anime, I mean, it's not that popular here as it is in America, I think o.o that kind of sucks, since I can only buy anime and manga through internet (they have several stores, but nowhere in the neighbourhood T.T). Anyway, thanks! Most people wanted a happy ending, so I just do as they wish XD I can't write angst anyway T.T. **

**Lostjackal: No, I didn't write the song—it's by Barry Manilow :3 And, I've already started TWO new ones XD **

**Greedy Ed: Again, as you wish! XD**

**Fma fan: Thanks for reviewing, have a lemon x3**

**Sonicmetal: 's okay x3! I'm glad with even one review! n.n **

**SexySpoonsWillRuleUsAll: Thank you for the review, hope I didn't disappoint you with this XD**

**Audrey Midnight: Really? o.o Thanks! Well, I did want to study English for a while, since it is my best subject in high school xD. Thanks for reviewing! X3**

**cuylerjade: Thanks for reviewing :3**

**hyperdude: Thanks! n.n **


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